Fleet Week…A Proposal for a Man Friendly Version of this bi-yearly “event”…

Well ladies, it’s that time of year again.  Where you can go to just about ANY place in Manhattan and pick up Mr. Tonight (or maybe even Mr. Right) or maybe even pick up a few of them…one for each night of their week.

It’s Fleet Week.  Remember the “Sex and the City” episode.  To all of the men out there who are frustrated by this “invasion”, it’s never too late to go out and buy a sailor costume and lie to some poor drunk woman who is desperate to get laid.

In response to Fleet Week, my fiance says there should be a big boat of women clad in bikinis that docks in the city and the women are simply here to party, get wasted and service the hard working business men of Manhattan.

Gatorade…it’s a lot more than just a drink now! G Series Fit-Product Review.

Gatorade has finally branched out.  In addition to their fab low calorie workout beverages, they now make this totally nifty product in their G Series Fit line that is one of the best inventions since sliced bread.

I don’t like working out after a meal…but then again I don’t like going to the gym on an empty stomach…these little suckers are pretty amazing.  It’s a protein bar that comes pre-packaged in four little segments.  It’s the perfect thing to take to tide yourself over before a dinner party, or a workout.  Each “square” is individually wrapped and is a mere 50 calories.  I tried and LOVED the Banana Choco Nut Bread flavor.  Two of them filled me up enough for me to get to the gym and do some cardio.  More on their other products here.

Where in the World is Harold Camping after Judgement Day?…

Check it…one of his followers in Times Square via this blog-HERE. This end of the world thing was a big letdown.  Don’t get me wrong…I’m GLAD the world didn’t end and didn’t expect it to-but of course there’s that…”Well…what IF it really did end?”

No one knows where Harold Camping is today, and seriously if one was planning on pulling a Houdini, packing up and moving to Mexico with a fake ID and a crap ton of cash, yesterday was definitely the day to do it.  Or who knows what will arise over the next few days or so.

I don’t believe that God is someone evil and THAT judgemental who would strand people behind that are genuinely good regardless of their lifestyles, occupations, and preferences unless they were serial phsycho killers.  Anyways…I woke up today feeling a little relieved that we’re still here, and more motivated to get my ass in gear before the Mayan prediction in 2012.

I have sunburnt myself in Miami and chose the worst swimsuit possible to wear..it is my own fault and at least I have time to correct that.

UPDATE: Judgement Day By Time Zone…and I Can Leave the World Happy Thanks to Starbucks…

Immediately upon landing in Miami, I felt at ease about the world ending (if it indeed does)-what I do not understand is the end of the world “rolling with the time zones”…like it’s New Years Eve or something.  As of now I’m pretty happy in my hotel especially since I found a Starbucks that serves the magical legendary TRENTA size…wow…thank you God!  If the world does end, I can say that I finally had a trenta from Starbucks.  It is so big it holds a whole bottle of wine.

NO THIS IS NOT MY PERSONAL PICTURE-I stole it from google.  I am enjoying Judgement Day sober, thank you very much.

You know what…this whole end of the world thing has motivated me to be more proactive with my life in general, and to get a tan because I am by far the palest person here in Miami.

UPDATE:

Well…it’s after 7:00 now, I’m still holed up in my hotel watching Stephen Baldwin on CNN talk about why the rapture didn’t happen…heading to South Beach later, maybe the mall…as glad as I am that the Trenta is available here, it doesn’t look THAT different than the Venti at Sbux.  The super large secret size at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf is way better, and I’m craving their coffee right now…

Judgement Day Countdown! Miami here I come…Blogging before, after and DURING the Rapture!! May 21st!

I overslept today and did not make it to the gym.  At first I was beating myself up about this, but then realized that life is too short (especially since the rapture is tomorrow).  I also decided against getting eyelash extensions.  I didn’t feel like laying on a table for two hours on one of the last normal days of the earth…so instead this is what I’ve done.

I passed out around at 2:00am after downing two dream water shots, last night, fell asleep watching “Keys to the VIP”.   Let me tell you…that’s HIGH quality television folks.  Then woke up around 2:00pm.  Now I’m lounging on the couch, pondering life, but trying not to get too heavy about things.  I just finished my second manuscript and if the world doesn’t end on Saturday, I’m debating self-publishing or going about it the traditional way…I’m drinking coffee, AND glory be to God-I was able to use my frequent flier miles to get a FREE plane ticket to Miami and staying at a Marriot somewhere!  It’s almost as if God wants me there for this magical day!  Glamour baby…Rocking out the rapture!

Assuming the World DOES End on Saturday, May 21st, A rundown on my plans for the last few hours on planet Earth…

As I type this, I am currently on a “Hampton Luxury Liner” (BUS) back from Atlantic City en route to Manhattan.

Click on image above to learn more about it…better yet…Goldstar.com gets you FIVE dollar tickets.  This “luxury liner” (BUS) has Snacks (only cheez-it’s and Famous Amos cookies) and Poland Springs Water.  Grab a few bottles and the trip pays for itself!

This bus is cool because the drivers do not seem to care who gets on, one man even bribed a driver with some cash at the last minute.  However their customer service hotline SUCKS big time.  Oh well..waving a $10 in front of a driver works good enough!

*

I have lost more money than I had planned on in the middle of the week playing video poker.  I spent well over $20 on Red Bull alone.  I do not understand.  It is cheaper to get wasted and gamble, than it is to drink a Red Bull and do so.  We did have a “free” luxury hotel room, courtesy of Bally’s-then again, after the last trip we made there…I guess we “earned” it from our gambling excursions.

Am I upset about my financial losses at the casino?  Yes.  I just keep telling myself that IF the rapture happens on Saturday, I’ll be glad I did it.

I have also decided to get eyelash extensions tomorrow and go to the gym and do an hour of cardio, and eat at least on Reeses Peanut Butter Cup.

Mmmm!

I may also get a spray tan because I am going to Miami for Judgement Day!  Ahh!  The excitement of being in glamourous Miami on the (supposed) final day of the world-before all of the saved ones are flown up into the sky.  Once again, this Miami trip is impromptu, and a bit pricey, but Judgement Day only comes around…well…supposedly once (even though it was predicted to happen in 1994, and didn’t).

No matter what happens…you only live once, right?  So I figure that why not go to Miami?!

No, I am not staying at this hotel?  I have NO idea where I’m staying yet…I may not even need a hotel if I am raptured while sunbathing on the beach.

So..in closing…I’ll report more about my plans tomorrow.  Perhaps I should’ve planned a trip to France instead, but Miami is definitely a quicker flight, and I’ve promised two of my friends I will take their pets if they happen to be raptured and I’m (probably) left behind…so I’ll need to be able to get back to the city quickly!

Is the World REALLY Ending This Saturday, May 21st…?

Originally I wasn’t TOO freaked out about the possibility of the world ending.  I asked my boss about it, and he said no-and he’s usually right about everything…then I made the mistake of taking the wrong train into the Times Square Subway station, and when transferring I saw a massive amount of the the Family Christian Radio people running around with fliers, bibles and signs.  The creepiest thing about it, was that they all looked NORMAL.  Like people I’d see at Starbucks or at Target.  Some even looked like hipsters from Williamsburg.  They all seemed quite calm about it too.  I seriously would’ve stopped and asked a few questions if I had time, but I was running late.

Then, a friend sent me this most amazing link.  What will you do if your pet is not raptured with you?  These people apparently can help.

Then you can have an automated, email, text, or VIDEO sent…for a small fee once you are raptured so your friends and family who aren’t will know where you are.

I’m going to Miami with the one I love on Saturday…if I’m going to be raptured, it might as well be in style on the beach in a bikini…yeah the plane ticket is pricey but if the world does end, money won’t really matter THAT much after Sunday will it?

Drinking Etiquette For Ladies…

This blog has been inspired by this status update on Facebook that got several comments.

Nothing says trash than a wasted girl stumbling around in an evening gown…at ANY event.  I once worked at a club that didn’t even allow a lady to carry her own beverage across the room.

For the most part, beer is one of the worst things to drink if you are half naked, at the beach, or doing a bikini contest, stripping, or doing a pageant.  It can make you bloated and can have negative effects on your appearance and behavior, especially if you’ve thrown back some yager, tequila, or 100 proof whatever down along with it.

I am NOT condoning or encouraging drinking alcohol in this entry (if you REALLY know me, you know what I mean.)  

But if you’re going to do it, you might as well be a lady about it and not stumble around like a drunken lush-I can say this because I have been that drunken stumbling annoying slut at a bar more times that I can remember (literally…oy!)

The only thing that a woman can drink and look really bad in-in EVENING wear at a cocktail party is a can of beer or a bottle of beer.  I suggest putting your beer in a glass, or if you do want to drink from the bottle, get a cute little bendy straw to add a flirty, femme touch to it.  Or there’s always this koozy, which is almost pushing it…but somewhat acceptable.

Here are a variety of images that I have snatched up from google of drunk lady disasters.

Well the sharpie scrawled on the leg says it all. FUN.

“Oh always the bridesmaid..never the bride…too drunk to care…at least I have Dom…”

“I must keep my buzz going!  All of the champagne is gone!”

I’ve seen RED plastic party cups…but never yellow at a kegger.  Wow.  Go girls!

And they lived happily ever after…(where is her husband?)

Oh…wow…

See the can of Pepsi?  Was that a last effort to sober up before she passed out?  Pepsi…the Next Generation.

Why is the groom shirtless?

*

With that said hopefully these pics will deter female readers out there from becoming a casualty when you google “drunk girl”.

Yasmine Bleeth Update of the Week!…My new heated eyelash curler, and the search for the perfect mascara…

DISCLAIMER:

*If you are an editor looking for REAL writing samples from me, please send a message via this blog and I will provide them.  This blog is for entertainment purposes only.  It’s mindless and fluffy.  Pulitzer Prize worthy materials, and words of “substance” sent by request.”

Here is a candid snapshot of Yasmine Bleeth on a camping trip in 2008…since then I don’t know if anyone has really seen her around.  For the love of God Yasmine!  People love you and miss you…people come to this blog more to see what you’re up to, than what I am up to.  Please, reach out to your fans.  I was Caroline Holden FOUR Halloweens in a row…come on!

What a happy camper! Lolz!

*

I am on the search for the PERFECT mascara, and the perfect method for making my lashes look luxurious, long and thick before I break down and go back to my girls at Blinglash.  I LOVE my eyelash extensions, however since my recent foot injury, I’ve barely been able to even walk to Starbucks, let alone take the subway.  FML.  In the meantime, I purchased an Ardell Heated Eyelash Curler , and it seems to work well, but requires a little effort and patience in figuring out how to use it.  You need mascara to maximize the results, so I’m still on the prowl for the best mascara…any ideas would be great…I have a feeling I’m going to cave in soon though and go back to the extensions…it’s nice to be able to roll out of bed run out the door…but if there’s some magical mascara out there that I don’t know about, by all means, let me know.

Using a Doctor’s Note Full Force!

Since my injury, I’ve been milking the heck out of the doctor’s note that states that I must wear “soft soled shoes on my L foot, due to severe trauma”.  I have used this note to pre-board on airplanes (it still hurts and will for another few months)…and I especially enjoyed using it today at Costco, when I rode on one of these.

My sister’s thought it would be simply hysterical to put this big teddy bear in the basket.  We wanted to keep it there to show my dad, but I had trouble keeping up with them, and the little cart simply couldn’t go fast enough and I was frustrated and tired…not to mention, people were giving me very strange looks and laughing at me on this…so I just tried to look sad so they’d think my injury was severe enough to garner the use of this device.

Oh boo…it sucks having a broken foot.  I think I’ll be able to do cardio again on Monday…God help me.