And now for MAYBE a slightly more interesting post…

Looking at my own blog has been annoying me over the past few days because I cannot seem to figure out how to load a picture on here from the computer I’m currently using.  If there IS a pic above, then my attempts have finally been successful.

I have been reading “The Accidental Billionaires” by one of my fave authors Ben Mezrich.  I like Ben Mezrich so much, here’s a link to his website.  Ben, if you’re reading this…There are three things I would like to say to you:

1.OMG…Ben if you are reading this I’m like totally excited right now, please comment below!

2.I’m not hitting on you.  I know you’re married.

3.I think you’re a great writer, and pretty darn cute as well.

“AB” is about the creation of Facebook.  Something that I use pretty frequently, but never realized how it was created.  The story is pretty fascinating.  I’m pretty sure Justin Timberlake is going to be in the movie version of AB…awesome!

Mezrich also wrote “Bringing Down the House”, which was adapted in the film “21”.  Another one of my faves.  After seeing that film, a girlfriend and I had aspirations to start our own card counting club…but that’s kind of hard to do since we’re both horrible in math…one can dream I suppose.

Little known fact about me: I was a Poker Dealer when I lived in Los Angeles.  Ask these girls…they can vouch for me.


I ate a huge pack of peanut M&M’s, shortly thereafter I broke out into a rash, not exactly hives, but some sort of allergic reaction.  I don’t care…I still want more.  My mother has hidden all of the chocolate from me.  See, I’m not anorexic like some of you thought.


“I’m thirsty and need some water.  It’s important to stay hydrated.” this is what my sister said as we drove through Starbucks today. Yes they have DRIVE THRU Starbucks here.  That’s honestly such a thrill to me.

“Water is good to drink, especially if you’re taking some ecstasy.” I don’t know why my mother felt compelled to tell us this.  My sister and I were quiet and then just laughed.  Mom are you taking ecstasy?  I may need some to survive the blizzard, although I’m not quite sure what I would do with myself if I took some.


Keep reading readers…I promise exciting torrid stories of half naked women and my crazy sin-filled life in New York City as soon as I get back there.  The most exciting thing I did today was buy a super absorbant hair towel from TjMaxx.  I flirted with the gay cashier and he gave me a discount.

A Blog dedicated to YOU.

This is targeted at one specific person.  You know who you are.  I promised to never blog ABOUT your personal details or life, and I’m true to my word.

HOWEVER. I will “dedicate”a song to you.

For the latest blog click back…or wait until tomorrow and there will be a new one.

Just Another Boring Day…

I went to Starbucks today.  It’s a lot cheaper here than it is in New York City.  An older man came up to me and asked me if I was going to buy him his drink, my response:

“Well, if you were a real gentleman you’d offer to buy mine.” I did not want this man to buy me my coffee, but if you’re going to ask me to buy you yours what do you expect.

“I’ll buy it for you!” he said.

“No thank you, I didn’t mean to give you the wrong idea.” I told him to have a nice day.  He walked away, and then he came up to me again as I was waiting for my drink at the counter and gave me his card and said he’d like to take me to dinner.  I told him that I was leaving town in a few days, he didn’t seem to care, he told me he lives in Utah…I asked what brought him to town:

“My mom just died it’s been a horrible Christmas.” wow…okay.  That’s a lot of information.

“Well, thanks for the dinner offer, uh…I’ll email you.” I didn’t know what else to say.  I don’t think I’m going to.  He lives in Utah and I have no plans on going there anytime soon.  I don’t even think I’d know what to say.  Maybe he’s on Facebook.

Since then my sister and I keep debating on whether or not phone prank him or something.  I know it’s wrong, but we’re really bored.


For those of you who have been inquiring about my recent complaints of a man that has been fondly nicknamed “Ipod Guy” by my friends.  Here is a brief synopsis/update of that situation.

I got a good male friend of mine that I’ve been quasi dating* for quite some time, an ipod.  Apparently his way of thanking me for it, less than a week later, was to get annihilated at a party, yell at me for no reason, “break up” with me very dramatically in front of a group of people, when I didn’t even know that we were really “dating”…AND ended up hooking up with another girl that night.  I will not go into further detail as to protect this complete moron’s identity.  Anyways, better to lose an Ipod than years of valuable wasted time, and better to know sooner than later.  Thanks for being an asshole Ipod Guy.  I hope you enjoy the Ipod jerk.  Take it and shove it!  He didn’t even apologize to me. Coward.  I’m annoyed, but not losing sleep over this because I’m not the one who got drunk and made an ass out of myself (well…at least this time).


I bought a new pair of snowboots.  They are moonboots.  Black and silver.  People stared at me wearing them today in the mall.  I felt a little self-concious, but I know they will be appreciated when I’m back in New York.


My sister and I watched Firefox starring Angelina Jolie.  Highly recommended-she’s topless in it for about 5 minutes.  Then we watched Poison Ivy 3 with Jaime Pressley.  Plenty of soft porn topless and thong action in that as well.  Now we are watching “Final Analysis” with Richard Gere…I really don’t know what to expect.

I don’t really know what we’re doing tomorrow.  Grocery store maybe?  definitely Starbucks.

*when you go out with someone who denies that you are dating/spending time together and frequently says, “This isn’t happening…we aren’t hanging out.” out fear of committment, and just out of being a jerk!

This could be interesting…

The other night I saw “There Will Be Blood” for the first time.  It was good.  Quite good.  I had a friend who watched it obsessively for weeks and weeks when it first came out on DVD.  I didn’t understand then why he did that, and I still don’t understand that now.  It was a great film, but not something I could kick back with and drink a beer watching, over and over again like it was Rocky Horror or some porn.  The same person I mentioned above also didn’t leave his house for a week after Paul Newman died.  Did he know Newman personally.  No.  Had he ever met him.  No.  Was he a big fan of Newman’s?

“I guess I am.” he said to me via chat as he refused to leave his house.

That was a long time ago, and I no longer keep in touch with that person.

What I took away from “There Will Be Blood” was the mild desire to maybe learn sign language.  Note the MILD and MAYBE.  A strong MILD and MAYBE.  I was pleasantly surprised to see that a sign language course is actually quite affordable in New York.  If anything, it would be something interesting to do, an interesting skill to have in my back pocket.  I don’t know…maybe it’s just being trapped indoors for about three and a half days…

“You shouldn’t waste your money on that unless you plan on getting a job using it.” my mom said.  “Maybe you could work at a church though, and sign to people there.”

THAT would take a lot more than a six-week sign language course…I told my mom that maybe a deaf person could be lost in New York, and maybe I’d happen upon them and be able to help.

“How often do you see deaf people in New York?”  okay Mom, point made.  I thought sign language would be at the least interesting and a good way to meet some new people.  Who knows, a hearing impaired person could come into Rick’s Cabaret and I could help them…

We’ll see what happens after the blizzard.

I’ve Been Snowed in My House for Three Days…

I’d like to thank the readers who have been checking my blog over the holidays.  I apologize for the lack of content and the mundane non-existant posts.  I’m stuck in a blizzard pretty much in the middle of nowhere, and for some reason or another I could not post pics.  I’m going to try to bear with me.

As relaxing as it is, after being stuck in the house for three days, I’m going a little stir crazy.  I slept for 12 hours last night.  It was amazing.  My mother made a delicious chocolate pie for dessert the other night.  I decided I wanted some more of it around midnight.  I searched for it without luck.  This morning I was told that it was strategically hidden from me.  Oh well.  I know it’s the best, considering that I’ve consumed more chocolate in the past 48 hours than I have in a year.  No exaggeration.  I even went through both my sisters’ candy  that “Santa” brought them, and took some.  I ate so much of it I even broke out in a few hives.  It’s been awesome.  Now I’m officially sick of chocolate…until next year!

Today I have begun my “detox” of some sort, which involves coffee, fruit and proteins, no starchy carbs. (see how boring this blog is so far, stick with it people…I’m in a freaking blizzard-there’s really not much else to write about.)

Other than that my family and I have been watching such holiday fun lighthearted films such as, “There Will Be Blood”, “No Country For Old Men”, and now, “Eyes of a Stranger”-starring Jennifer Jason Leigh.  Good times people, good times.

Tomorrow I look forward to going to the mall, Starbucks, Target and Costco.  Ahhh the exciting life I lead.  file:///Users/deninewt/Desktop/holiday-isldand-3.jpg

Santa’s Dead!

Forgive the title of the blog…but I seriously doubt that any small children are reading this.

Traveling this holiday season was a bitch. Originally I was scheduled to leave on Christmas Day, but I switched my flight to Christmas Eve, and lucky I did because due to the inclement weather one of my flights was cancelled.  I did some sweet talking to the customer service department though and was luckily re-routed and spent about 14 hours altogether at the airport.  I was oddly not annoyed by this, despite the number of children who were freaking out about Santa Claus due to their delayed travel plans.

“Santa might miss us since we’re not home!”  this was screamed by a child outfitted in western wear-his family was also dressed the same way and they had southern accents.

It took every ounce of discipline to say, “Well Santa’s been in an accident so he’s not coming at all this year, or ever again.”  I really wanted to say this.  Yes I know this is a sick thing to admit, but the thought of ruining a child’s life stopped me, so it’s good to know I have a conscience.

When I was in high school I was once yelled at for telling my youngest sister that Santa was shot on the subway in New York.  Even though my mom scolded me, I could tell that she thought it was a little funny.

When I finally got on the last leg of my trip another family was behind me talking about plane crashes.  Once again, it took a lot of willpower to not pipe in and mention that we were on one of Continental’s “Death Trap” planes.  The exact type of aircraft that was involved in two fatal crashes last year.  “Maybe we’ll see Santa while we’re up in the air!” the mom said.  I really wanted to say.

“I hope he doesn’t crash into our plane.”  Once again, I kept my mouth shut.


I’m on day two of my family vacation.  So far it’s been great.  I’ve done nothing but eat chocolate, drink coffee, sleep entirely way too much, watch tons of tv, including: a “To Catch a Predator” special-which I thought was an interesting idea for MSNBC to show on Christmas Day, but I certainly enjoyed it.  I don’t care that I’ve been in pajamas for almost 24 hours.  This is why I love holidays.  You can do whatever you want. 

Happy Holidays…pray that I’ll have something interesting to write about over the next week while I’m on vacay….

A Week in Review…and Tattoo part Deux!

What a week!

I cannot believe the holidays are upon us.  Wow wee!  Lots of fun stuff to blog about, but here we go.  A special shout out to Josh for his fabu article in the San Bernardino Sun about gentlemen’s clubs and the recession with a quote from yours truly.

Still looking for a last minute gift for that special lady in your life?  Wanna help out a poor college gal trying to shimmy and shake her way through a semester?  Sign her up for BOOTCAMP!  Stripper Bootcamp that is.  Rebecca Avalon of , who is one smart cookie who has also been written up in TIME magazine! Go girl!  Click on the links for more information. I’m seriously considering participating in bootcamp myself it looks like a lot of fun!  You can never stop learning about perfecting your craft!

So, my tattoo is healing nicely.  I’ve gotten several different reactions from various people about my recent piece of body art:

A conversation between me and my mother:

ME: Hi Mom what are you doing?

MOM: I’m at Costco with Susie. What are you doing?

ME: I got a tattoo today!

MOM: No you didn’t! You can’t even get your ears pierced.

ME: Yes I did, and it didn’t even hurt.

MOM: No you didn’t, it’s just a sticker, you would never do something foolish like that!

ME: Well…I guess you’ll just see it next week.

MOM: (laughing nervously with lots of shopping noise in the back) I’ve gotta go Randi.

I’ve spoken to my mom a few times this weekend.  The tattoo subject has not been broached.  Don’t worry mom!  You’ll love it!

A text from my sister C.

C: Tattoo? What it’s of?

See…some of my family members accept and know that nothing I do is a shock at this point! Shout out to my sis C!  Thanks for reading!

A text conversation with my friend Andrew:

ME: I got a tatttoo!

ANDREW: I hope it’s not of a cartoon character.

ME: No it’s the name of the new guy I’m dating…talk about a true way to show committment.


ME: Kidding…it’s really not.

Really….a cartoon character?  REALLY?  Do I look like that type of girl to you?

A conversation between me and my bestie Mala:

ME: Andrew thought I got a tattoo of a cartoon character.

MALA: Well, I was worried about that too.

ME: What?!?!


Phone rings, I answer.

JEN: YOU got a tattoo?  REALLY?  You don’t even have your ears pierced.

Girl at Starbucks, reacting to me ordering five shots of espresso over ice:

GIRL: I don’t understand you.  You don’t really drink, you don’t have your ears pierced because you’re scared, but you have a tattoo…is coffee your vice?

Yes…I suppose it is.

Once again I will plug the fantabulous Friday Jones for making my first time getting inked a memorable one.

Anything’s possible in NYC.  Even getting a tattoo on 5th ave.  When I go for it.  I go for it all the way.

Other than that I had the most un-eventful weekend ever.  I stayed in bed, watched Lifetime movies. Finally saw Julie and Julia-(I had no idea that Julia Childs was a virgin until age 40…WOW!) and slept a ton.  I am not ashamed of admitting this.  Snowstorms are the perfect reason to stay in bed all weekend and do nothing but eat and sleep.

I’m off to my company Christmas party….perhaps that will be the topic of my blog tomorrow.  Check back then.


Follow me on Twitter!

My Girl Friday….

I tend to do things spontaneously, yet when it comes down to it and I really think things over-maybe I’m not so spontaneous after all.

I’ve had an idea for a tattoo off and on for about 15 years.  I never thought I’d ACTUALLY get one though.  Every so often over the years I’d think to myself, “Oh yeah…do I really want a tattoo?  I don’t know.”

I think the main thing that had prevented me from getting tattooed was the fear of needles, but after my vanity issues kicked in and I found out that getting injected with botox wasn’t painful, just uncomfortable (yet necessary)…I told myself that just maybe I could handle the “pain” of getting a tattoo after all.

Yet, I still wasn’t 100% sure.

Originally I was ONLY CONSIDERING getting “inked”, my friend was dead set on getting a very specific one and I told her that I’d come along for moral support.  We didn’t want to go to just any chop shop, so I recalled reading about a girl named Friday Jones over the summer.  Her clients range from Angelina Jolie to The Neville Brothers, and MANY others.  Click on the link above to see her site.

So we arrive at the salon, only to find out that my friend doesn’t have enough time to get the tattoo she wanted…yet there was time for Friday to do mine.  So I took a deep breath, and a few sips of peppermint tea, held my pal’s hand and Friday talked to me the whole time while she worked her magic!  She was fabulously fun, nice, and I’d go back to get another one just to hang out with her!  She’s knows how to put anyone at ease and even gave me a hug after we were done!

For those of you who’ve never had a tattoo, I must say I was in complete SHOCK that it was not painful at all.  Growing up my parents basically told me, “Don’t get a tattoo.  They hurt really bad.  REALLY bad.”  Well let me tell you…it DOES NOT hurt AT ALL.  It’s just a little sore.

You’re probably wondering what my tattoo looks like.  I’ll tell you this much.  It’s in a place that can be easily exposed or hidden.  Most likely it will only be noticed if I draw attention to it…and NO I did not remove any undergarments or clothing in the process of getting the work done, (so get your mind out of the gutter!)

Am I encouraging people to get tattoos?  If you’re sure that you want one YES…and ONLY if you do it the right way, which means you must run and not walk to see Friday Jones.  You can’t trust just anyone to permanently alter your appearance.

Now my next project…getting the courage to get my ears pierced.

You think I’m kidding…but I’m not.

Go Ask Ashley…I think she’ll know…

Extra extra read all about it!  Ashley Dupre is now an advice columnist for The NewYork Post.

Good for Ashley for taking such an interesting situation and turning it into something that I consider a positive way to make a new career move for herself.

I follow Ashley on Twitter:

once again…you can follow me on twitter as well:

I’ve been following her on here for a few months now and her posts are very sweet.  From what I gather she’s a very normal girl, with a weakness for Insomnia Cookies, and can make some killer blueberry pancakes.  Ashley seems sweet and I’d have a cup of coffee with her.

I just wish I’d get my advice column offer soon…any day now any day….does my agent even read my blog?  Does my publicist? Sigh…

A Little effort please?

Okay this is another random blog about the subject of dating.

A few months ago I blogged some unsolicited advice to all of the online daters out there trying to ask women out.  I posted this based on some of the….ahem….bizarre efforts that men online had made in contacting me.

There you go!  You can read all about it by clicking on the link.

This blog is for those men out there who ask women out in PERSON….face to face….in real life…not on the net.  The advice I’m going to give is plain and simple.

LISTEN to what a woman tells you.

If a woman tells you that they’re allergic to chocolate ice cream…they’re allergic.  That doesn’t change no matter how many times you ask them, they are still allergic to it.

If a woman tells you: “I’m not eating pizza anymore, it upsets my stomach and my Dr. has advised me NOT to eat it.” for the love of GOD…stop asking her to eat a slice.  If anything it’s a turn off and makes the girl think that you don’t care and that’s you’re not listening to what she’s telling you.

The biggest turnoff for me, is when a guy tells me that he’s interested in me…yet makes little to no comment about anything that I have going on in my life, other than the fact that he wants to take me out or hook up with me, whatever.  I’m assuming that these men do not read this blog, and most of them know that I do have one.  Maybe they do read it, maybe they think it sucks…but my advise to you is that at least MAKE AN EFFORT.

Women are pretty easy to figure out…well kind of…you just have to LISTEN to what they’re telling you.  Okay…this is my rant for the day, and probably the whole week.  Hope you enjoyed!