Lonnie came into the club last night and said that Howard Beer Pong has been featured in Penthouse Magazine this month…AWESOME!

I never thought I’d appear in Penthouse and never really intended to.  I think it’s cool.

NO…I’m not naked in it.


Keeping Up With The Kardashians…

Maybe I’ve blogged about this before, but I LOVE this show.  I especially love the parodies that people do of Kourtney, Kim, and Khloe.  I think Bruce Jenner is a stick in the mud, but highly entertaining.

Last night’s episode was especially touching, or maybe it was that way because I had a shot of smirnoff.  Poor Kourtney and Khloe’s boyfriends were cheating on them.  It’s ironic because my ex, who very recently did the same to me, said I look like Khloe.  Whatevs.

It’s interesting because people tell me I should have my own reality show.  I think my life is pretty simple and at times very boring, but people tell me otherwise.  When I’m not at work usually I’m just wearing sweats, playing on Facebook, and watching tv.  I guess working at a strip club pends to be interesting to people who don’t really know what it’s like.

For some reason I am craving and REALLY craving a grilled cheese sandwhich from Vynl Diner and a frozen vodka lemonade.  I lost 2lbs this week and just by eating that meal alone will surely put the lbs back on.  Usually after days of fasting I crave this specific meal for some reason.

Summer School…

I really want to go to summer school again this year.  Last year my parents paid for it.  This year they won’t.  It sucks.  I didn’t get to go to college I wanted to growing up, my family couldn’t afford it.

You’re probably thinking, “Can’t the stripper on The O’Reilly Factor afford summer school?”

I’m really weird with budgeting and I have the money saved, but I don’t think I should spend it.  Today when I was talking to my therapist who has been giving me crap for boozing it up too much.  I told her I couldn’t afford to go financially.

“You’re giving up something creative for alcohol!”

“Uh…how does spending like 5 Grand on school have anything to do with me having some vodka?”

“You’ll just spend that money on alcohol.”

“Uh…not THAT much money.”

The other night a man came into work and offered me $100 to go to Foxwoods Casino and have sex with him.  No thanks.

Celebrity Crush…

I’m still recuperating from the “episode” that happened Saturday night.  The whole thing actually made me think about my celebrity crush that I dated.

I dated my celebrity crush a few years ago.  He wasn’t a HUGE celeb, but he was someone that I had always had a bit of a crush on.  I randomly met him, we dated, etc…he really broke my heart and I don’t think he ever realized how much I loved him, if at all.  He was really weird in a good way and we got along very well.  We don’t talk at all anymore.  I often wonder if he reads this blog, but I doubt that he does or doubt that he really ever cared about me.

When Celebrity Crush cut me out of his life I was really upset, and I still don’t quite understand why that happened.  I hated him for a long time, and part of me still kind of does.  After what happened on Saturday though…I harbor more anger towards my recent ex.  Celebrity Crush was at least honest and upfront about ditching me.  He didn’t lie to my face.


Well…I had a pretty crazy night last night.  Long story short I found out that my recent “ex” boyfriend was cheating on me for just about the entire duration of our five month relationship with his former girlfriend.  Through a random series of events, she I and were put in touch with one another and looked at our cell phones, text messages, calendars, etc…

He was playing the two of us.  When I’d be at work he’d be with her, when she was working-he was with me.

It’s funny because she told me that she had been reading my blog trying to figure out whether or not he was still seeing me.

I don’t usually blog about my love life or write about it.  It’s a very touchy subject with me.  I won’t get into too much detail, but this guy did a number on me.  He was worse than my celebrity crush that  I dated that broke my heart into a million pieces.  I’m almost even mad at myself that I “came out” and said I had a boyfriend on television.

Dammit!  With all the press I got I could’ve found a better more upstanding guy.

So anywhoo…she and I confronted him last night at her apartment.  It was like a combination of  “The Bachelor” and “Intervention”. He actually didn’t run away, but he didn’t really fess up to anything until the last 10 minutes of our 90 minute ordeal.

It really sucks.  She’s a great girl and I really like her.  Hells, I’d date her.  She’s awesome.  He’s head over heels for her and I can see why.  She’s great and I think we’re actually going to be friends after this.

He juggled the two of us for almost five months.  He said he did that because he didn’t want to be with me, but wanted to be with her in the end.  He said he was trying to figure out a way to dump me, and had been for a long time.

I don’t understand this guy.  Maybe I just don’t understand guys period.  This guy has a lot to lose, so I really don’t understand why he handled it the way that he did.  Even crazier, he still thinks I want him back?!  He called me this morning saying “I don’t want to be with you.” and I’m like “DUDE…I SO don’t want to be with you.”  Maybe if the ass ever reads my blog, he’ll figure that out.

on a side note:

I’ll probably never work another day as an actor in New York City, but I don’t care and haven’t for awhile. I guess in the long run, that’s not so bad.

Los Angeles…

I have been living back in NYC for two years now.  It’s really weird how time flies.  I spent two years of my life in Los Angeles and it was a great experience, but ultimately wasn’t for me.  The two years seemed to last forever, and now I’ve been back in New York for the same amount of time I was in LA for.  It’s a weird feeling.

I guess I can say that a lot of things in my life have changed in the two years I’ve been back.  I actually had to think about that for a second…hahaha….

Anyways…more later.  Sorry this is a short one.

Dear Starbucks…

Dear Starbucks,

I’ve been coming to you for more years that I can even remember.  I do remember the first time we “met”.  It was in Dallas, Texas during an AMDA audition.  They didn’t have you in Nebraska and I thought you were really special.

Years have gone by and I’m starting to realize that you aren’t as special and as scarce as I had hoped.  I have given you more money than I even want to think about.  Since I have given up my four shot of expresso over ice in a venti cup and taken up with green tea, I was dissapointed to discover that the tea is like, $2.50.  Also, it tastes weird.  If I start making my own at home, I’ll save $75 a month that I can buy other fun things with.  That’s a savings of about $900 a year.


I will miss you dear Starbucks.  I will miss you so.

I don’t know why I didn’t think of this before.  Too bad I can’t make vodka at home…I probably could figure it out though.

Bill Murray Come See Me!

Has anyone seen this awesome story in Page Six Mag?

Apparently Bill has decided to start hitting random parties and weird bars in Williamsburg and throughout the city.  Bill is going through a painful divorce.  Bill let us go have dinner and we can help one another through our hardships.  Or at least come see me at Rick’s Cabaret.  I’ll talk to the managers there and surely they will buy you a drink or two.  We can tell jokes, sing songs-I think the club may be getting a karaoke machine for one of the private rooms.  Just like when you did karaoke in “Lost In Translation”.  Please Bill, please.  Please come visit me.


Have you ever wanted to do something nice for someone and then questioned whether or not they would deserve it?

I’ve started to learn that if you have to question something like that, that the answer is probably no. They don’t deserve it.

I’m not perfect in many ways and I know this. I’ve apologized for my mistakes. I’ve been lucky to have been forgiven for some of my faults and I’m constantly working on bettering myself.

You can’t blame someone for pissing you off when they didn’t know that a small mistake would make you angry and walk away without giving things another shot.

I’m not too sure on how I feel about things right now. My point is…if you question on whether or not someone deserves something nice, and sweet, they probably do not. I have no tolerance for people who can’t even appreciate the good intentions.

I have little tolerance for liars. I know they’ll always turn around and kick me when I’m down.